JennaSayQuoi

23 Jul 2009

Funny cybersex chat.

Funny cybersex chat.

21 Jul 2009

21 Jul 2009

Gems from Digital Spy (14)

Urban Myths about the housemates

I’ve heard that if you go on a date with Marcus you end up waking up in a bath full of icecubes with a scar where your liver used to be.

David is related to the Chewits dinosaur. 


1) Lisa likes to peel kittens and roll them in salt.
2) Sophie is a prospective parliamentary candidate for the BNP, co-incidentally in High Wycombe.
3) Freddy co-wrote ‘Umbrella’ for Rhianna.
4) Marcus keeps newts.
5) If you record Siavash’s diary room interviews and play them backwards, you can clearly hear messages imploring children to embrace Satan.
6) Charlie once appeared as a substitute Teletubby when the usual Dipsy had glandular fever.
7) Bea cannot be seen from the West.
8) Kenneth’s voice has no echo.

I’ve heard that if you look in the mirror and say “Karly gives me the boke” 3 times that Lisa appears from behind you and shaves your hair off! 


I heard that wherever you are in the world, you’re never more than 100m away from something that Rodrigo disapproves of.

Silence from the Lamb


The BBLB presenter has the same aptitude for interviewing guests as a cocaine fiend has for becoming a stoic. More silence is needed from this oaf, who, at the very least, should be giving his guests the opportunity to answer his question before interrupting them with one of his trademark witless observations.
He is excrutiatingly ill-mannered, yet the BBLB producers seem unwilling to discuss his plentiful manifest shortcomings with the overblown oaf?? His presence reduces the BBLB experience to a wheelchair ride on the wild side.
Sack the dipstick.

21 Jul 2009

Gems from Digital Spy (14)

I learnt about Karly and Kenneth’s relationship status during a GCSE Biology lesson..

Apparently they are indulging in whats known as a ‘symbiotic relationship’. ’ A symbiotic relationship is a relationship between two entities which is mutually beneficial for the participants of the relationship.’

The term is commonly used in biology to explain the relationship between two entities that need each other to survive and prosper.

In this scenario Ken is providing the material goods and financial aid and Karly is providing sexual relief..hence they both benefit.

A few hours later in an Economics lesson my teacher explained the theory of ‘supply and demand’. By definition, supply is the amount of product that a producer is willing and able to sell at a specified price, while demand is the amount of product that a buyer is willing and able to buy at a specified price.

Again we can apply this to Karly and Ken with supply being Kens wallet and the demand referring to Karly’s ass.

I then had to sit through a history lesson where my teacher informed me that during the turn of the century some poor women were actually forced into prostitution to feed themselves.

This is apparently when the following occurs… the act of engaging in sexual intercourse or performing other sex acts in exchange for money, or of offering another person for such purposes’

No further details are required are they really…

And lastly we return to Biology where i learnt about Lisa’s role in society as a parasite. A parasitic relationship is one in which one member (Lisa) of the association (Society) benefits while the other is harmed (Taxpayer)…

After a long and stressful day at school all i wanted to do was get home and watch Grange Hill and Newsround but as i was passing the school gates i noticed Kelly Sharpe who was a year above me and id fancied for ages ushering me behind the bike sheds where she proceeded to give me an oral presentation..i gave her top marks but told her in the school report that she ‘must try harder’….

16 Jul 2009

Gems from Digital Spy (13)

A Vision of Rodrigo

Rodrigo standing in the centre of one of the dance floors at manumission, on ibiza.

on the stage several naked performers are simulating/having sex, to a soundtrack of the loudest techno you have ever heard. above the dance floor, in cages suspended by wires, naked girls wield foam-squirters that they aim at the public.

on the dance floor people are writhing around in a combination of flour, foam, baby oil, beer, wine and sniffers.

a group of loved-up london types, half-naked, exhausted, currently experiencing fifteen different levels of reality, are bounding up and down spilling their drinks over each other.

rodrigo, in his immaculate boy-scout-from-top-man uniform, with his hair moulded into it’s perfect prefect-shape is saying…

“would you do this in your own house?”

Heel, I Say Heel you Bitch!!!!!

Well Lisa may as well have said that to Karly and Karly like the good little dog she is just did that

She trotted after her licking her arse as she went

All this codswallop about Karly being a tough tell it how it is woman is utter sh*te

She is Lisa’s lapdog pure and simple, funsuckers the both of them

What was the Rebellion about?

well whatever it was, it was not

karly lisa at the bus stop chewing their fingers, rollies, insides of their faces.

marcus leering over noirin.

siavash having a stop.start.stop.start conversation about what. he. is. and. what. he. isn’t. with somebody.

rodrigo sitting in the kitchen eating his ready brek and keeping the creases on his trousers parallel by concentrating…really….hard.

sophie hunched up in a big cardie/dressing gown with her eyes puffy from thinking about things like why cats like milk.

etc etc.

at least it was SOMETHING DIFFERENT AFTER SIX WEEKS.

however shoddy and short-lived it was.